SITREP - Madwomen & Honey Wine
Time stops at the speed of light.
I think the night shift is finally getting to me. I didn’t mind it so much in winter, but now that the sun is out and it’s warm, I want to be outside. Unfortunately, there isn’t much to do in the middle of the night, even in summer. I long to go for a hike or even a long walk on the trail by my house. But that’s definitely not a nighttime activity. So I continue to putter around the house, reading, cooking, and knitting while the rest of the world sleeps.
I don’t see my time on the night shift ending anytime soon, so I welcome tips and tricks from anyone who has also struggled with this life.
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Book Things:
Currently Reading:
Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen by Suzanne Scanlon: Committed was on my list of spring/summer anticipated reads. Some of the books on that list have been duds (see Recently Finished), but I love this. In fact, I’m enjoying this so much I’m forcing myself to slow down so I can savor it. Scanlon reflects on her experience living in the New York State Psychiatric Institute in the 90s. The story is fragmented and profoundly moving. She discusses mental health, institutionalization, literature, writing, and loss.
“It was a beautiful memory, the memory of a freedom available to me in that fantasy world, the complete escape of it; we could live there, and she was there too. It was what I feel now writing, that I can create this object out of the mess of my life and then others can come into it, can live in my world, if only briefly. What is real to me becomes real to them, too.”
I’ve been highlighting like crazy on my Kindle, wishing I had a physical copy I could write all over. I fear my final thoughts will be a long string of favorite quotes. (48%)
The Secret History by Donna Tartt: I am making my way through my reread and still enjoying myself immensely. I continue to dislike this Julian fellow. I can’t decide if he’s playing at being ditzy or if he fried parts of his brain in his youth. The first time I read this, I didn’t like any of the characters, and it was hard for me to care about the text as a result. I still dislike everyone on reread, but I can see how Tartt satirizes elitism, America, intellectualism, etc.
Our main characters all have the appearance of goodness. As Henry says, “It’s not that we’re so smart, it’s just that we don’t look like we did it. We might as well be a bunch of Sunday-school teachers as far as everyone is concerned.” So much of our lives is about appearances and privilege. Some people can get away with murder, literally and figuratively.
This is probably one of the most enjoyable rereads I’ve done in a while. (63%)
Lies and Sorcery by Elsa Morante: Don’t ask… (50%)
Recently Finished:
Mad Ship by Robin Hobb: OMG, THIS ENDING!!! Hobb is so good at ramping up the pace right at the end and sucking you in. I was frantically trying to get through this before going to work the other night. I won’t spoil anything for anyone who might read these books, but I will say Malta did grow on me. I love her growth. I still love Paragon, and I know he will play a larger role in the final book in the series because he has to! The Rain Wilds is such an intriguing setting, and my interest is piqued for the Rain Wild Chronicles quartet, which I should get to later this year. So far, Liveship has been darker than Farseer, and I wonder if the trend will continue as I read the rest of The Realm of the Elderlings.
The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley: Oh boy, this book. It's another new release from my spring/summer anticipated reads. Unfortunately, it's a bit of a dud. I did a full review on my Booktube channel, so I will be brief here. The Ministry of Time has been getting a lot of buzz. It’s been optioned for a TV show and was even the Good Morning America Book Club pick for May. Meanwhile, my friends have all been very critical of it.
TL:DR of my review: this book is mid. It’s not that it's offensively horrible. It’s just doing too much and not doing it well. It’s trying to be a time-traveling romantic comedy, a spy novel, and a political thriller. While also being a critique of the immigrant experience and discussing climate change. I guess it’s a fun, frivolous read, and I agree with
it would be a good beach read. Unfortunately, after all the praise, I was mostly disappointed.1
Euphoria by Lily King: Lily King is quickly becoming a favorite author. She’s two for two - I loved Writers & Lovers, and I loved this! I love how quiet this story is. King lays down enough information for you to understand the dynamic between Fern and Nell and everything brewing under the surface. I rooted for Nell and Andrew. I wanted so desperately for them to have their happy ending. It’s a heartbreaking and beautiful story.
Nell is a remarkable character - strong yet under the thumb of her horrible husband, Fern. She’s the star in the relationship, and he can’t handle her outshining him. I hate that she was bound to him through marriage, especially since Nell wasn’t a monogamous person. She felt like a woman forced to live in the wrong time. I kept imagining her life if she lived in a society that respected loving like “wine” instead of forcing us all to love like “morning bread”, as in Amy Lowell's poem, A Decade, which Nell often quoted.
When you came, you were like red wine and honey, And the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness. Now you are like morning bread, Smooth and pleasant. I hardly taste you at all for I know your savour, But I am completely nourished. - A Decade by Amy Lowell
Nell wants to savor her lovers. She wants that thrill and excitement. She doesn’t enjoy the mundaneness of monogamy.
It was uncomfortable to read about white colonizers “observing” the native groups like specimens under a microscope. It was especially hard seeing how Fern handled himself as an anthropologist. Nell wanted to understand and respect the cultures she lived in as much as she could. Fern wanted to take what he could for his own gain. Andrew wanted something in between. He tried to be respectful but at a distance. Whatever the style, it all felt dehumanizing to various degrees, the scrutinizing of people just because they are “different.” Why are Westerners the ones who get to decide what is civilized and what is not? Why is one way of living correct and another seen as less than?
What do I read next from Lily King?
Just in from publishers:
Sadly, I didn’t get an arc of the new Sally Rooney:
A Good Life by Virginie Grimaldi (Out now from Europa Editions): I still cannot believe I’m on the Europa PR list! This is crazy to me! A Good Life is translated from French by Hildegarde Serle. We follow sisters Agathe and Emma from childhood to the present day to show us the complex lives of women as daughters, sisters, mothers, wives, and individuals. They grew up thick as thieves, only to grow apart as adults. When life events cause the sisters to return to their grandmother’s home, they’re forced to heal their relationship. I’m expecting happy tears.
Practice by Rosalind Brown (Out June 25, 2024, from FSG)2: A debut novel about the day in the life of a young student trying to write an essay on Shakespeare’s sonnets. We follow her thoughts, fantasies, and wishes as she attempts to draft this essay. That’s all I know about Practice. I’m assuming it’s stream-of-consciousness or at least stream-of-consciousness adjacent, which isn’t for everyone, but I tend to enjoy it. I feel this will be one of those weird, slightly pretentious books I adore.
3, 2, 1, Round-up:
(AKA Random Non-Bookish Things Because I Totally Have Other Interests)
Three Random Things I’m Loving:
I’m in love with dense bean salads for my weekly meal prep. I tried a sundried tomato version this week, and it was perfect! They're great for storage; you can eat them cold, and you can always stuff them in a wrap! I need to try more from
.3We had a beautiful dinner at one of our favorite tapas places. It’s authentically Spanish, and the patatas bravas are to die for. My partner tells me I can easily make them at home, but maybe they’re like sandwiches - always better when someone else makes them.
I have lots of tech, but I’m still a paper planner girl. I’ve tried to switch to all digital, but I can’t do it. I understand having everything on my phone is easier, but I like mapping out my life on paper. Through a lot of trial and error at the start of the year, I eventually settled on the perfect system for me - the traveler’s notebook. I have a simple weekly planner, along with notebooks for writing, drawing, and notes for videos. I love it and highly recommend.
Two Videos to Watch:
Anyone who read The Ministry of Time and wanted to know more about the failed Franklin Expedition to the Arctic, check out this old History Channel documentary. Honestly, Graham Gore’s storyline was the only redeeming element of that book.
This is a fantastic discussion on the death of the critic. The old crabby lady in me hates it when people like everything. Every book you read can’t be life-changing or five stars. Some things are just terrible, and that’s ok!
One Adorable Picture of Mercy
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Thank you for reading. See you next week!
Owen, I didn’t tell them to watch Kate & Leopold instead. Aren’t you proud of me?
Thank you, Naomi, for sending me your extra copy. If FSG sends you an arc of Intermezzo, please let me borrow it.
Thank you, Jess, for introducing me to the DBS.
What a pleasant surprise to see a shoutout my first week subscribing to your awesome newsletter! (Thank you, friend 🫶🏼) I am curious though: what does SITREP stand for?
The most experience I’ve ever had working midnight shifts was years ago when I worked for an agency that operated an open detention facility for young offenders requiring 24/7 staffing. We juggled various shift schedules over the years, and for a time we used one that involved a repeating pattern of seven days each of 8am to 4pm shifts, 4pm to 12am shifts, and 12am to 8am shifts, with, of course, a few days off in between each string of shifts. It was bad enough doing the week of 12am to 8am shifts, so I feel for you doing overnights on a permanent basis, especially in such a stressful workplace as a hospital where you’re called upon to make decisions with life-or-death consequences.
I remember how tough it was driving home at the end of an overnight shift in the summer time, knowing how many other people would be heading off to the beach that day, or otherwise following the advice of my old manager to “Get out and enjoy the sunshine!” I’m not sure how useful my advice on coping with midnights may be to you, but I’ll offer it anyway.
One thing I always tried to do was minimize the amount of caffeine I had in my system when the time came to head home and go to bed. I’d have a coffee or two in the evening before heading off to work, but that would be it until the following evening. I was always worried that even the thought that I might be under the effects of caffeine when I got home to bed would be enough to hinder me from falling asleep. While at work, I drank only water or fruit juice, or sometimes a herbal tea--but not one to help you fall asleep!
Before leaving for work in the late evening, I would make sure I had a reasonably neat and tidy place to come home to next morning. At that time, I was a carefree bachelor living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, so it wasn’t that hard to maintain an adequate standard of housekeeping. I made sure my kitchen counter was clear and any dirty dishes washed and put away. I never wanted to come home and go to bed with the nagging thought that I’d have clean-up chores to do as soon as I woke up.
I made sure my bed was made, too. It always felt more inviting getting into a bed with the sheets and blankets pulled up and neatly tucked in. As long as it wasn’t going to be too warm a day, I might pile an extra blanket or quilt on my bed, just to create that comfortable womblike feeling of extra weight pressing down on me to make falling asleep and staying asleep easier. And, of course, I kept my bedroom as dark as possible, sometimes draping a bedsheet over the window curtains if it was going to be a sunny day to try and keep out every last photon.
When I was at work and coming down to the last hour or so of my shift, I would start some self-talk to remind myself how tired I was and how good it would feel to go home to bed. After shift change, I never hung around to socialize with the day staff, but headed straight home to bed. I resisted the temptation to stop at the bank or do any grocery shopping or run other errands, and just concentrated on getting home and into bed as quickly as possible. I knew that the longer I stayed up, the harder it would be to fall asleep. If I was able to fall asleep between 9am and 9:30 am and not wake up until 2pm or so in the afternoon, that was usually enough shut-eye to tide me over until the next day, though for sure I felt bagged out.
To help me fall asleep, I would slowly in my mind count backwards from one hundred, or think of some real-life problem or decision to chew over to help me drift off. Another trick was to imagine I was carefully and deliberately telling someone the plot of a short story or novel, not rushing anything in the mental retelling, but going over the plotline step by step. The main idea was to find anything to think of that would distract my brain and body from the fact that I was committing the unnatural act of trying to fall asleep while it was broad daylight.
Not meaning to sound tiresome or puritanical, I’ll add that I gave up drinking a few years ago. As much as I used to enjoy my afternoon and evening glasses of red wine—anything cheap in a screw-top bottle—mixed with tonic water, it became harder as I grew older to ignore the fact that I was imbibing a Class One carcinogen. Plus, the money that I was spending on the fleeting pleasures of alcohol could be put to better use on the more lasting enjoyment of buying more books. If I want to sip on anything in the evenings now, I choose cranberry juice or orange juice mixed with tonic water. Best of all, I now sleep better, sleep longer, and wake up feeling more refreshed.
I’m afraid I can’t help much with ideas of how to pass the time in the dead of night. You’re confined to a form of house arrest and limited from doing anything that generates much noise. The only thing that comes to mind is 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles, or perhaps the time-honoured craft of making ships in bottles. I actually saw a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle few weeks ago that was comprised of all the characters and famous incidents from Jane Austen’s novels, though at $35 (Cdn) it seemed kind of pricey.