The rhododendrons have dropped their petals, and now the roses are in bloom in my scraggly little garden. They smell divine, and I love how unkempt they are. Two enormous bushes tumble over with blooms, reminding me of my grandmother’s garden growing up. She had the most luscious summer garden, like something out of a fairytale.
I ordered these from White Flower Farm several years ago, and I cannot recommend this company enough. I used to flip through their catalog with my grandmother and help her choose new plants for her garden. I still think of her when I flip through the catalog dreaming about everything I want to do to this property. I have big plans, no time, and only a fraction of the budget needed, but it will all come together one day.
I’m a BookShop.org affiliate! Full disclosure: I will receive a small commission should you order books using my links.
Book Things:
Currently Reading:
I’m in the mood to reread:
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf: Mrs. Dalloway is one of my favorite books. I’ve read it several times and loved it more and more with each read. My first time through was a bit of a struggle. I found it hard to focus my mind as Woolf slipped from consciousness to consciousness. But I was also transfixed by this meandering story. A year later, I picked it up again, falling head over heels in love with the minds Septimus, Clarissa, and Peter. But more importantly, I fell in love with Virginia Woolf.
I had no plans to read Mrs. Dalloway this month, but then I stumbled upon
by Tash here on substack. They’re hosting a read-along of Mrs. Dalloway this month with the most insightful weekly discussions and breakdowns, and I had to dive in. I’m enjoying the pace of this read-along; it’s helping me to slow down, which is something I find challenging to do while reading Mrs. Dalloway. Stream-of-consciousness writing tends to turn me into a speed demon; the style seems to push me along like a high-speed train, and I miss so many of the tiny details.If you’ve ever wanted to read Woolf, and in particular Mrs. Dalloway, please consider joining this read-along. Tash’s breakdowns of each section are so informative and get deep into the weeds of the text. I’m glad I found this substack. (25%)
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon: Yes, it’s another reread! June seems to be all about nostalgic reads. This is my third time reading Outlander, and I still adore these characters. I love Jamie and Claire and want them to be together forever (I couldn’t care less about Frank), which is why I’ve been too scared to read the rest of the series. I remember feeling so content when I finished Outlander in the early 2000s and was shocked and excited when I heard it was a series. I tried to read Dragonfly in Amber several times, but it never hooked me like Outlander. I put a call out on Instagram asking people to convince me to carry on, and it seems I should. I also picked up books two and three while in Virginia for my great book thrifting adventure, so perhaps this will be the year I continue. Time will tell. (60%)
The Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe: This is my second time attempting to read The Mysteries of Udolpho, and I’m determined to finish it. This is my year of Jane Austen. I’m reading all her major works along with Dickens and Docks on Instagram, and I recently finished Northanger Abbey (see Recently Finished). I’ve been reading a related book with every Austen I read this year, and there’s no better companion for Northanger than Udolpho.
At this point, I don’t have much to say about this classic gothic novel other than it’s so melodramatic! Our heroine has just been orphaned and left in the care of an aunt who married the evil Count Montoni. Montoni has chased away our heroine’s lover, and we’re about to descend into the dark and horrific parts that had Catherine Morland so transfixed. I’m hoping for fewer flowery poems and more sinister goings on - like Catherine, I must know what’s behind the black veil! (25%)
Lies and Sorcery by Elsa Morante: I managed a few pages, but this book is so chunky that it didn’t make a dent in my reading percentage. You might be saying to yourself, “Just DNF this, Alyssa!” but I will not! I am determined to finish this before the end of the year. (50%)
Recently Finished:
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen: I cannot believe it’s taken me this long to finally read Northanger Abbey. I’ve seen all of the adaptations countless times so it is a story I know very well. Yet somehow, I never managed to read it. I love how playful Jane is in this book. Her narrator is charming, funny, and opinionated. I love Jane’s soap box moments in defense of novels.
“It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language.”
Catherine is so naive and wide-eyed at the start of the novel. She travels to Bath with a head full of drama, adventure, and romance. But she knows very little of the world outside of her sleepy country village. In Bath, she’s wowed by the seemingly more accomplished and worldly Isabella Thorpe and charmed by the dreamy Henry Tilney. Before she knows it, she’s whisked off to the gothic abbey of her dreams, Northanger, where everything starts to fall apart. But have no fear; Henry Tilney rides in at the final moment to declare his love, and all is right.
Northanger Abbey is the most refreshing and fun Jane Austen novel that I’ve read to date. My only complaint is not having a swoon-worthy kiss at the end. But that would have been truly scandalous for Austen.
Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen by Suzanne Scanlon: I threatened to give you all a list of quotes as my review, but I don’t know how interesting that will be. So let me tell you some of my thoughts first.
I loved Scanlon’s open and raw discussion of her experience being institutionalized and how she uses literature to help her explain but also process her experience.1
“As James Baldwin put it, in a passage I read many years later, You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. I understood this but it would not heal me back then, when my suffering was so strange and new and singular, so acute that I could not believe anyone ever had felt this way before. If they had, they would not survive. And so neither would I.”
I particularly enjoyed her challenging the impact of diagnosis on the patient. By that, I mean that when we’re diagnosed as something - crazy, manic, depressed, etc. - we start to change our behaviors to support that diagnosis. It’s an interesting thing to think about. I don’t know if I agree with her 100%, but I can see how it may be true for some people.
“I don’t want to say (or at least I don’t think I want to say) that I was not sick. But I do want to say that nothing is isolated, and especially not what we call pathology; that we exist in context, of the moment and of each other; that we are fragile and fluid. We learn how to be.”
This was a truly wonderful look at mental illness, mental health care, and resilience. Now, onto the quotes:
“I didn’t know what I was doing at the Institute for Psychoanalysis but it made more sense than going to church. For many years, I’d try and fail not to go to church. Something would pull me back, over and over again. I no longer believed, but I wanted to believe. I wanted the home, what it felt like once long ago, that feeling of being held.”
“…the current mental health crisis—and social media doesn’t help, and it may make it much worse. Just as I read obsessively and wrote in my notebook excessively—my hypergraphia was a kind of desire, a longing for connection—so a young person today might post on social media. But what if no one responds, or worse, someone responds with cruelty? The imagined audience to my notebook, however amorphous, was never cruel and always interested.”
“The performance of pain is still pain. It was our way of being in the world. It was a way to please your doctor, and by extension, to receive care.”
“I don’t act crazy anymore, or I am not crazy. Or I never was crazy. But in many ways back then I just couldn’t help it. I think that is part of what we mean by mental illness. What you can’t help: starving yourself or bingeing and purging; staying in bed all day or staying up all night or cutting yourself. It is either excess or rigidity and often both. Maybe it was crazy to eat a plain baked potato once a day and nothing else. Though there was a nurse on the ward who ate a package of plain rice cakes every day, and nothing else—yet because she was a nurse, she was not crazy.”
“You can become strange from loneliness, from days and weeks without speaking to anyone.”
“However meaningful years of talking about my problems to a doctor were, it is also true that these insights—about my mother, my grief, my sadness, and fears—did not lead to change. There is a great gulf between an awareness of a problem and an ability to change.)”
“With most antidepressants, I no longer felt unrelenting sadness, but I didn’t feel happiness, either.”2
The Secret History by Donna Tartt: You guessed it, another reread! I appreciated this book more this time around. The first time I read The Secret History, I checked out a bit once I realized I didn’t like any of the characters. This time, I went into it trying to figure out why this is a favorite book for so many readers, young and old. While I still wouldn’t put this on my favorite books of all time list I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
I particularly enjoyed how Tartt is criticizing the single-minded pursuit of intellectualism. Richard gets wrapped up in Julian’s world of the elite and ancient and loses all connection to reality. There’s nothing wrong in the pursuit of art, literature, and knowledge, but when your entire existence is based on that, you lose all your connection to humanity.
“There is nothing wrong with the love of Beauty. But Beauty - unless she is wed to something more meaningful - is always superficial.”
When Bunny dies and Henry’s gang starts to fall apart Richard finally starts to see the ways he’s disconnected from the rest of the student body at Hampden. While he was trying to keep up with the rich kids and his greek translations the rest of campus was partying, hooking up, and being normal American college kids.
It’s truly a brilliant novel but rather dated in its cultural references.3 It’s worth reading, but I don’t know if it was as impactful for me as other books I’ve read. This has me thinking about what it is about a book that makes it a book that defines you or a favorite of all time. I don’t know how to answer this just yet, but I’ve been chewing on it since I finished The Secret History. Maybe one day I’ll have an answer.
The Unfit Heiress: The Tragic Life and Scandalous Sterilization of Ann Cooper Hewitt by Audrey Clare Farley: As it says in the title, The Unfit Heiress documents the life of Ann Cooper Hewitt who was sterilized without her consent by her mother in 1935. This took place just before Ann’s 21st birthday when she would inherit her father’s fortune. Ann was hospitalized with appendicitis, and while in surgery, her mother had the doctors sterilize her because Ann was “feeble-minded” and would be “an unfit mother.” Ann’s inheritance would default to her mother should she die childless, which was now guaranteed. You might ask yourself how this was even allowed, and the answer is eugenics.
The trial that followed was a media sensation. It brought the sordid history of forced sterilization into the public consciousness. The judge dismissed Ann’s case, and ultimately, this suit had little impact on the sterilization laws in the U.S. However, it sparked a public debate about the ethics of eugenics and the potential harm of allowing involuntary sterilization to occur.
The history of eugenics has always fascinated me because of how horrific it is. The Unfit Heiress weaves in some of that history, but it really only scratches the surface. I did appreciate the author discussing the long-reaching effects of this “science” and how we can still feel its impacts today. Forced sterilization and eugenics feel like relics from the past, but they’re still with us. Many states still have forced sterilization laws which disproportionately affect minorities, immigrants, and the incarcerated. Eugenics might not be “all the rage” in public, but it’s still lurking in the shadows.
If you want to learn more about the history of eugenics, I’ve included an excellent documentary from American Experience in this week’s videos.
Just in from publishers:
Please Stop Trying to Leave Me by Alana Saab (Out June 25, 2024, From Vintage): A debut novel about “love, family, queerness and losing your mind in the modern world” - everything I love in one book! Our main character, Norma, is a struggling writer. She meets with a new therapist to help her find that creative spark, and she is diagnosed with Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, but Norma doesn’t accept this diagnosis. We alternate between the story Norma is writing and her unreliable stream of consciousness to explore the challenges of existing in today's world, of fiction and reality, sanity and insanity, mental illness and healing. Also, that cover is perfection!
3, 2, 1, Round-up:
(AKA Random Non-Bookish Things Because I Totally Have Other Interests)
Three Random Things I’m Loving:
Update: My Hello Clio Kindle bag finally arrived and I love it! It’s perfect for running errands, and I love the plush lining. My book phone fits perfectly in its own compartment, and I know it won’t get scratched by keys or anything else I throw in my bag while I’m out and about. They’re working on a Kindle backpack with a pocket for Kindle Scribes and iPads - I may have to get one when they launch.4
I don’t think I’ve ever talked about my book phone properly in the newsletter. About a year ago, I replaced my old Kindle Paperwhite with a Kindle Scribe, and I love it.5 I have enormous hands so it doesn’t feel too big to me and I love that I can write out my thoughts in the notes as I’m reading. For a while, I was carrying my Scribe with me to work or wherever, and it was okay, but not incredibly convenient because of its size. But then my friend Kim bought herself a Boox Palma. This small phone-sized e-ink device runs on Android so that you can download basically any app. After grilling Kim with questions about the e-reader for a few months, I bit the bullet and ordered one. I’ve stuffed it full of all my favorite reading apps, and always have it with me. It’s so easy to slip into a pocket and have it with you for reading while in line or whenever you have a few moments to spare. It’s also helping to cut down on my mindless scrolling time. It’s one of my best purchases this year.
I love these long summer days even more now that I’m a nightshifter. I love driving to work with the sun still shining. But what’s even better is taking Mercy for her last walk before bed in the bright morning sun. We’ve been walking down to the pond in the mornings so I can watch the geese swim with their rapidly growing goslings while the morning sun turns the dew on the grass to mist. It’s a beautiful way to end the day.
Ok these aren’t 100% non-bookish but it’s my newsletter I can do that.
Two Videos to Watch:
This is a fantastic video essay on consumerism, capitalism, and aesthetics. I’d never heard of this channel, but the algorithm slid this video into my recommendations, and I’m grateful.
After reading The Unfit Heiress, I watched this American Experience documentary on eugenics. Please watch this if you know nothing about the horrific “science” of eugenics or how it was woven into American culture before becoming the inspiration for Hitler’s persecution of Jews and anyone else deemed unfit. It’s hard to learn about, but we need to know the dark parts of our history to keep them from repeating. Sadly, I think we’re backsliding at a rapid rate here in the States, and I’m terrified to see what will happen after this election.
One Adorable Picture of Mercy
SITREP is a free weekly newsletter about books and things. If you want to support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. You can also simply like and share this post with your friends.
Thank you for reading. See you next week!
At some point I’m going to comb through all my highlights and compile a list of all the books and/or authors mentioned in Committed. I think it would be an excellent reading list. When I finally have that list together I will post it to my substack in case anyone else is interested.
Probably one of the most relatable quotes.
Do the kids even know who Zsa Zsa Gabor is?
I’ll never forget the morning I finally pulled the trigger and bought this pricy e-reader. At about 2 am, I was awakened by the sound of a loud bang and the lights going out. The bang was a tree falling on the powerlines outside the house before landing on my car. After calling the power company, waiting for the fire department to arrive, and having a little cry, I said f*ck it and bought myself a Scribe. Ahhhh, memories!
Thank you for the kind words, Alyssa! So glad you're joining our read-along of Mrs Dalloway.
It was good of you, Alyssa, to take the time to preview the video on “Witchcraft Under Capitalism” and post it on your newsletter for the rest of us to enjoy and be enlightened by. I know that if a video from the “Activist Witch” channel ever popped up in my YouTube feed, I would have instantly assumed it was along the same lines as some of the videos I used to receive from pagan folklore channels; the kind where presenters would frantically sound the alarm bells—“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DEALING WITH!”—about the cute little Fairy Doors people were buying from craft & hobby stores.
I had never heard about the Cottagecore aesthetic until it came up for discussion at last month’s book talk meeting at my local library. Obviously, there’s more to it than just putting up red gingham curtains in your kitchen window, and it probably doesn’t include not waiting for the hottest day of the summer to have your septic tank pumped out.
I was also very interested in what the Activist Witch had to say about society’s “Beggars can’t be choosers” attitude towards poor people. During my years working with Children’s Aid, myself and other staff would often dig into our own pockets to supplement kids’ clothing allowances so that they could go to school in clothes that were as stylish and well-fitting as most of their peers. I also learned how proud less well-off parents could be, such as the mom who worked long hours at a call-centre rather than apply for a disability pension she was fully entitled to receive on the grounds that, “I don’t want my kids to think they can live off the government.”
Or families who you knew were hard-up but whose parents refused to accept any help at Christmas time: “No thanks, Tom, give it to somebody who really needs it.” The only way to persuade such moms and dads to agree to a frozen turkey, a food hamper, and some presents for their children was to tell a dingy-white lie and explain that they had to take the stuff off my hands because we didn’t have enough storage room at the agency to keep it all, which was sort of true.
The one thing that troubles me a little about thrift stores is seeing people there who appear affluent enough to buy their clothes at regular clothing stores, but who go bargain hunting for the stylish $30 leather jacket or other prized items that you think less-advantaged people should have first dibs on.